Jordan Schuman
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On Owning Too Many Shoes (A Memoir?)

6/26/2013

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The irony is not lost on me that I had a bit of an incident while online shopping for a $3.00 spiral notebook that reads, "Life is short, buy the shoes!"-- a motto I frequently recite.

I didn't click purchase or anything. This is usually how it goes. I browse and live with it for a while and see if I really need what I'm about to get and if it's really worth my own hard earned cash. This happens frequently and happened recently as I had a 20% off coupon at Alloy.com, and a merchandise credit. I logged on to purchase a pair of shoes I did love and knew I wanted, but made the foolish/rookie/awesome/poor decision to shop clearance first... where I found shoes that with my aforementioned discounts would equal just $16.00. 

Long story short, I ended up buying three pairs... the one I went there to buy, and the $16.00 pair in two colors.

That night, I even texted a friend saying, "Life is short, buy the shoes! Right?" She agreed. 

So while sitting looking at my online shopping basket tonight which I had no intention of purchasing in the near future, full of a few miscellaneous items including said spiral notebook, I realized I haven't worn any of the 4 pairs of shoes yet and that I reeeally should stop purchasing shoes with the rationalization that I will wear them someday. That was a run-on sentence because that is how I speak to myself and that is exactly how it went in my own mind. Maybe now you all understand why I'm so tired all the time. 

Looking at my shoe collection now, I can say with 100% confidence that some pairs would look really great on red carpets or when I see Celine Dion in Las Vegas, or when I have my own talk show, or in Studio 1A in 30 Rock. You know. Someday. 

And I can distinctly remember a time one year ago where I bought a pair of leopard heels in Target with the rationalization that I'd wear them someday even though at that moment I had no clue when that would be. I'm proud to admit I have worn them on many somedays, like the time I met Andy Cohen, and I love them.

Anchoring a weekly newscast at school, I do believe I wear heels more than the average female my age, so that works in my favor. But in my life right now, I consider shoes a worthy investment. Sometimes it's worth it to take the subway just one stop in Manhattan, and sometimes it's worth it to buy the shoes. For, you guessed it, someday.

So herein lies the problem. This habit is expensive, but luxurious. And I guess I just categorize this habit as necessity and not luxury. Because someday it will be! But for now, I'm still a girl on a college budget with 4 pairs of new shoes that will remain unworn until I have an event to wear them to. (Stay tuned on what those events might be.)

But I'm not sure if planning for someday is such a bad idea. Because if we don't plan for somedays, will we ever meet them? And if we don't dream of the outfits with shoes, will anyone ever see them?

An expensive habit, I give you that much. But what do they say? Carry a big stick?

"It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared." - Whitney Young Jr. 

In other words, life is short, buy the damn shoes!

You heard it here first,
Jordan

P.S.

I've been reading almost exclusively memoirs this summer: Tabatha Coffey, Andy Cohen, Kris Jenner, Mindy Kaling. And I'm pretty sure if I ever write mine (still planning for somedays) I'll title it "life is short, buy the shoes!" A bestseller. Now, what will I wear to my book launch party? ;)


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